Sleep Deprivation

I am so sleep deprived.  So. So. So. Tired.  I feel like I spend each day in a hazy fog.  I do dumb things, I forget stuff constantly, I never, ever feel refreshed in the morning.  My biggest wish is for my husband to send me to a hotel to sleep with no dogs, no baby and no distractions for just ONE night.  I often think back to my last full night's sleep (March 21st, to be exact).  If I had known it was the last time I'd go to sleep and wake up when I want, I would have savored it.  I would have rolled around in bed until noon.  I would have just slept all damn day.  Weston was a typical baby, he'd wake every 2 hours or so to eat.  I remember a few nights of 3 hours between feedings (I loved those) I also remember hourly wakings when he was gassy (that was rough).  I just wish I had kept better track.  I didn't keep a record of anything.  I was an emotional, crying mess just trying to survive those first few weeks/months.  I know at the end of May I started feeling like I was getting more sleep.  I also learned how to nurse laying down around that time and LOVED not getting out of bed.  I remember chunks of solid sleep from him for about 5, 6 hours - there was a 7 hour stretch one or two times.  I remember many times after his initial stretch he'd go 3 hours between feedings (I LOVED that) but mostly he'd go 2 and that was okay.  I was starting to feel somewhat more rested.  I felt like I could definitely count on a solid 4 hours of sleep myself when I'd head off to bed after him. I felt like things were improving and was excited to see it get better from there.  But then something terrible happened.  June 26th - I'll remember this day forever.  June 26th happened.  I don't know what about it but my husband was away for the night and I was ready to head to bed right after I put Wes down at 7ish PM and I was going to get SO MUCH SLEEP YOU GUYS, SO MUCH.  But no.  I went to bed around 8ish and Wes started stirring at 10 and I remember thinking, "What the hell?  You're supposed to sleep until at least midnight or 1:30!!!!!!!"  Ever since that day his sleep has gone to shit.  He was up every hour that night and as of today, JULY TWENTY-SECOND, he hasn't improved.  The past two nights his longest stretch of sleep has been 3 hours and then up every 2 after that (which  makes for a loooong night when his bedtime is 6:30-7PM) and he's up for the day at 5AM.  I want to die.  I don't know if this is a 3 or 4 month sleep regression or he hit the 4 month wakeful early but it sucks and I don't think it's either of those things.  I think my baby is crappy sleeper and things will never improve.  It feels so hopeless.  I'm so tired.  I just want it to fix itself without me having to DO anything, you know?  I don't have the energy to do anything about it.  I just want to lay my head on my pillow and sleep.  That's all I want.  I cry about it all the time.  I'm envious of my friends without kids, friends with older kids and my friends with those magic sleeping babies who are getting SO MUCH GODDAMN SLEEP.  I just don't know how I'm going to get through it.  I just want to BE through it.  I'm sick of people telling me to savor each moment.  Yeah, I'm totally savoring each morning at 5AM when Wes starts waking up and I'm just falling asleep from his 4:30AM feeding.  Yes.  Savoring.  That's what I'm doing over here.