A Sleep Update

We've made some changes around here...mostly taking away the pacifier for naps and bedtime.  It was hard but I knew we had to do it because Weston was waking up 5 times between when he'd first go down for the night (6:30-7ish) and when I'd go to bed at 8:30-9ish for his pacifier.  I Googled and read a lot of stories from people who were having the same problem, needing to replace a lost pacifier a million times at night, and their success stories inspired me to bite the bullet and get rid of it.  Also, my husband really encouraged it too.  He did the first shift one night so I could get a solid 4 hours of sleep and he told me how ridiculous it was that Weston would drop the pacifier out of his mouth a million times and we had to replace it constantly until he fell asleep.  He definitely gave me the push to do it and he really helped me a lot because I cannot stand to hear Weston cry but he could be the strong parent during the transition. 

We still do use the paci during the day, out in public for general fussiness but I plan to completely phase it out by 6 months. I was also reading Ferber's book (more on that later) and he said it would only take 2 nights without a pacifier for a baby to master falling asleep without it.  This is what I wanted.  I wanted to be able to lay Weston down in his crib or PNP (when at Grandma's) and walk away and not have to monitor the nap and pacifier until he fell asleep.  A lot of people said after their babies mastered not needing a pacifier to fall asleep, they started sleeping 8 and 9 hours straight.  Yeah, of course that didn't happen for me.  Why would it?! But I am able to lay Weston down in his crib, give him his soothie, turn on a white noise machine and walk away.  Lately, he doesn't even fuss at all, he'll play with his soothie for a bit and fall asleep.  It is WONDERFUL.  I am so much happier that I am not dealing with his pacifier and how often he'd wake up when it fell out of his mouth.  HOWEVER it did not make him sleep any longer or better.  He still wakes up 3 times during the night to nurse and I do not believe many of those wake-ups are due to hunger, I think he just doesn't know how to stay asleep or put himself back to sleep on his own.  I do think I need to lower my expectations about sleep.  We all hear about babies (and it seems there are a lot of them recently) who sleep 12+ hours at night at like 10 weeks old.  I believe those babies are the exception and not the norm.  

I am *hoping* that as time goes on Weston will become a better sleeper.  I do not want to be getting up 2-3 times at night with a 1 or 2 year old.  I know people do that.  I read about it all the time on mommy message boards and it terrifies me that that could be my future.  I've always been a person whose favorite time of day was bedtime (I know, but it's true).  I LOVED getting in bed at night, snuggled between my dogs, reading a good book until I fell asleep and woke up whenever I wanted on my own.  The hardest part of becoming a mom is having that taken away from me when it seems like so many other moms STILL GET THAT!  I was prepared to be up a lot at night with newborn.  We all know that going into motherhood.  I just never thought it was going to last 5 months and probably longer.  Lately Weston will wake up 3 hours after I put him down and I know he isn't hungry.  But I still nurse him back to sleep anyway because it's easy.  As soon as I feel him comfort sucking, I unlatch him and move him to his crib and he usually goes back to sleep on his own.  Sometimes he won't and we end up bed-sharing.  I really don't like bed-sharing anymore because I have to sleep at a weird angle around him and it hurts my back.  The side-cared crib is a great option for me right now because I get my bed back but Wes is still close enough to nurse without getting fully awake. 

So onto Ferber...the controversial Ferber method aka CIO aka cry it out.  I stopped reading his book around Chapter 6 or 7, I forget which chapter discusses night weaning.  His method didn't seem so terrible or bad at first and his book had a lot of great sleep information.  HOWEVER he completely pissed me off when he said that babies 3-4 months old have no need to eat at night and parents who nurse them at every wakening are basically creating bad habits that now (AND FOR THE REST OF TIME!!!!KDJGA;LKJFD;L!!!!!) you'll have to nurse or bottle feed your baby back to sleep for MOTN awakenings.  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????? So, as a new mom, when my 3 month old baby woke up at night, I wasn't suppose to feed him?  How the hell does Ferber know that the baby isn't hungry?  Especially a breastfeeding baby and growth spurts.  Breastfeeding is a supply and demand thing, if Weston doesn't demand more food, my body won't produce what he needs.  And even now, when I'm pretty sure he isn't hungry I still do not actually *know* if he's hungry or not and I just don't feel comfortable denying a 4 or 5 month old baby a nursing session(s) at night.  Totally out of my comfort zone, night weaning.  Maybe this will change when he's older but I can't do it now.  So now I have another thing to stress about, I got rid of the pacifier habit only to have a baby with a nursing at night habit. 

So as you can tell, I've spent a lot of time and energy (that I don't have) worrying, stressing, being angry and I've just decided to GIVE IT UP.  I can't change anything (I could night wean according to Ferber but I'm not comfortable doing that now) and I think I'm expecting a soon-to-be 5 month old to just be a fantastic sleeper because I said so.  I am hoping (and praying) that his sleep habits develop and mature over time to something more suitable for the both of us.  If that doesn't happen by a year old, I'll reassess the situation again.  

For reference we had a great night on Sunday.  He slept a solid 6 hours, ate, then 3 hours, ate then 2 hours and up for the day.  We haven't had a night that good in FOREVER.  But as is everything with Weston, he gives no consistency and has been waking every 3 hours since that night.  3 hours is better than 2 hours so I'll take it.  And in every other aspect he is just the best, cutest baby ever so at least we have that.